Everyone at a certain age begins to question authority. I consider myself a late bloomer for many things, but I started noticing injustices at a young age. By the time I reached my 20s more of my peers were also questioning societal expectations and the absurdity of a ‘standard form of living’. I always felt drawn to and more of a connection with people who didn’t conform to the way we were all ‘supposed to be’. Ladies shouldn’t curse, weigh too much, color their hair, get tattoos, drink beer from a plastic cup, date around, live with their boyfriends, and have sex before marriage.
Towards the end of 2009 and beginning of 2010, I met Nathan through a friend of my boyfriend at the time. We were at a Waffle House very late one night, and the conversation was starting to stall. I asked friends seated at the table who wanted to go to the cemetery in the middle of the night and hang out. Nathan perked up and was the only one that didn’t oppose. The only thing I knew about him besides that he was not from Little Rock is that he relocated to study bioinformatics, he came off as really shy and nervous. From that day forward we spent almost every single day together. We would ride bikes, climb Pinnacle Mountain, go to dive bars or bar hop downtown, go to yoga, float the buffalo, hang out at his or my house, listen to music, go watch live music. One weekend randomly we decided to drive down to New Orleans because we had never gambled before and wanted to see what the hype was about.
At a certain point, he was just always there always down to do anything or go anywhere. He never turned down an invitation. Those rare moments that we weren’t together, I could call him well after midnight to hang out and he would come meet me wherever I was. I also would have never tried tennis if it weren’t for him. I really just enjoyed his company. He was the calm and collected to my loud belligerent and obnoxious 24-year-old wild self. Nathan and I were both born in the same year, shared the same sense of humor and agreed about how horrendous our government was and how were weren’t actually ‘free’ in America. Nathan was soft-spoken and the most social introvert I have ever met to this day. He fit perfectly into the group of our transplant friends living in Little Rock. He was hilarious once you really got to know him. Not only was he a silent genius, he played several instruments, and was a health-conscious eater. He loved Pantera so much, I was always begging him to at least give Metallica a chance but he wouldn’t budge. He also found a passion for precious stones and crystals. He was full of random knowledge and surprises, we never had a dull conversation. We spent the a lot of time at our favorite little watering hole The White Water Tavern.
Sam, my husband, reminded me of the last time we floated the Buffalo River together. We wanted to get out of the city and be in nature, I called Nathan and invited him and his girlfriend at the time, Cheryl. As a ritual, we all went and picked up beer for the float downstream. Cheryl picked glass bottles for some reason, but we didn’t object. I remember the river was really low that day, we were definitely dragging ass. I’m also sure a joint was being passed around. Once the current picked up and it got moving a bit faster Cheryl decided to throw a glass bottle for some reason. And out of nowhere a park ranger walks out from behind trees and approaches her and writes her a ticket for littering… I remember we felt so violated because we were most likely talking about how little sense the government makes and how ridiculous it was that weed or mushrooms weren’t legal. It took us all by surprise! It was the ultimate buzzkill.
Nathan’s mother Tammy, is a fellow boy-mom of three sons. She has been in my thoughts lately. I also have sons. I often praise my sons for questioning authority. And today as I write I am questioning authority still. Especially that of the State who gives young police officers the weapons and permission to commit acts of brutality. On July 11th Nathan was shot point blank by a 26 year-old cop, in Bentonville, Arkansas.
I can’t imagine living in a country where my sons could be gunned down on a summer day, at 6 pm in a nice neighborhood, while UNARMED. When I share about my struggles living abroad, people by default respond with ‘come back home then’. The first thing I think about is my boys and the injustice system in America. My response is always ‘NO THANK YOU, hard pass!’ Nathan’s story just solidifies my choice to stay away from the declining nightmare that America has been undergoing.
Nathan’s visitation is on his actual birthday, which is deeply troubling. Disturbingly, the police have asked a man with doorbell camera footage of the incident not to share it. Every fiber in my being demands justice for Nathan, who had so much more life to live. His life was cut short by someone who made a deliberate choice, which in many places in the world is called murder. I urge everyone to closely follow this case. If you knew Nathan, please help keep his story in the media—his family deserves justice. We were fortunate to have known such an authentic, true person. This affects me profoundly because I last spoke with Nathan on July 9th, just two days before he was killed. We had not touched based in about a year, we picked up again where we had left off. I told him how glad I was to hear from him. My last words to him were, “I love you, brother.”
This is a link to his obituary:
https://www.gormanscharpf.com/obituary/nathaniel-crabtree
Some links about his story:
You can google his name and the officer’s name many more sources come up.
Here’s a video segment about the incident:
A BROAD ABROAD 
Justice for Nathan
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